What NOT To Do: A PSA To Super Bowl 50 Advertisers

Planning your Super Bowl ad campaign for 2016?

Advertisers, please listen up: As a public service to those companies prepping their ad campaigns for next year’s Big Game, we’ve gathered a list of the worst advertisements from Super Bowl XLIX. Let this be a lesson to you! While the ads below generally sucked, at least they can serve some purpose. A quick review of these poor performances and blunders by other companies can help ensure (we hope!) that you won’t do the same thing next year. Because heaven knows that America does not want to sit through another evening of ads like these.

Lessons From The Worst Super Bowl Commercials of 2015

LESSON 6. Boobs Are Not Enough To Make A Good Ad (Victoria’s Secret and Game of War)

Some viewers might disagree, but we feel strongly that both Victoria’s Secret and Game of War had pretty lame ads. Sure, they were big on eye-candy and skin, but they utterly lacked in creativity, story line and humor. Like a bad porn, with no sex. Victoria’s Secret’s ad was particularly disappointing because they had actually put together a great teaser. For a second there, the lingerie company led America to think that they might have an innovative, interesting ad this year. Instead, they put together an unimpressive Valentine’s Day pitch that relied entirely on the beauty of their “Angels” to do all the sales-work. Pathetically, it probably worked on a lot of people. Nonetheless, we hold them (and America) to higher standards.

Similarly, the mobile gamemaker, Game of War, aired an ad that was simply nothing special. Sure, Kate Upton is super hot, but she can be hot in a commercial 354 days a year. On Super Bowl Sunday, we want a little more substance!

LESSON 5. Not Everyone Watching Is An 8-Year-Old (Doritos “When Pigs Fly”)

This ad was absolutely hysterical, if you’re under the age of 10. But the grade-school level humor was just not that funny to anyone else. The ad on the whole felt trite, kind of like the expression “when pigs fly.” After 9 years of their Crash the Super Bowl contest, if this is the best material being submitted, it might be time for Doritos to come up with a new idea.

LESSON 4. You Can Flop In Just 15-Seconds (Heroes Charge)

Heroes Charge was utterly put to shame by rival mobile game, Clash of Clans. And it wasn’t just because they had only 15 second for their ad. The wasted their Big Game spot with an animated ad that no one remembers. At least Game of War showed boobs.

LESSON 3. American Is Sick Of Being Emotionally Manipulated (Nissan “With Dad”)

This commercial didn’t even have a clear message. Nissan made it seem like they were trying to say something profound about fathers and sons, or parenthood in general, but we missed the message. Instead, this total fumble sort of implied that dads could ignore their kid for a few years, engage in some very risky behaviors, and then pop up in the teen years in a reliable 4-door vehicle and everything would be fine.

The real kicker of this ad, however, is that the song in the background was “Cats In The Cradle,” by Harry Chapin. He died in a car crash. Oops.

LESSON 2. The Big Game Is Not The Right Forum For Every Product (Jublia)

When we first heard that glue would be advertised in the Super Bowl this year, we thought they were toeing the line. But Jublia went all the way and crossed it. There are some things that we just don’t want to think about during the Super Bowl, and toenail fungus is one of them. While enjoying a party with family and friends, nobody wants to be reminded of stinky feet. To make matters worse, the ad sucked. Rather than taking the opportunity of the Super Bowl to make fun of their product or write some clever copy about how bad your feet might smell after playing in the Super Bowl, Jublia released this cheesy commercial that was better suited to to air during the daytime soaps.

LESSON 1. Don’t Kill Children To Sell Insurance. Ever. (Nationwide)

Many people think this ad should have been banned, and we tend to agree. It had total shock value, sure, but we still fail how the kid’s “accidental” death was supposed to serve some kind of public benefit. The ad was offensive, upsetting and particularly painful (if not traumatizing) for Super Bowl viewers who had faced the death of a child in their own lives. Forbes summed it up best, “Nationwide’s childhood death ad was not only depressing, it was exploitative and insulting, playing on our fears in an age where parents already freak out way too much about their kids’ safety.”